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Shayne-Michael.COMedy: The Thursday Joke Off

Each Thursday you will be presented with 2 - 5 potential jokes for the original joke archives. Only the entry that receives the highest number of votes will be added to the database. In the event of a tie, I will flip a coin.


Untitled Entry One

A racist, a homophone and Chuck are discussing God. The racist says, “Look God believes all men who have a pure milky white skin color are superior because they are created in the image of God.”

The homophobe says, “No created in the image of God means God likes to date and dump woman like a real mountain man.”

Chuck laughs softly.

“Okay you yellow skinned pansy ass sissy. What’s your interpretation of created in the image of God?”

“God’s a moron?”

Untitled Entry Two

A man is dating a lady who sells Cingular phones. After dating for three years, they marry and have kids. But after a few years the relationship completely falls apart and the couple finds themselves in court asking for a divorce.

The judge, who’s reluctant to break up a family with kids, asks the man if there’s anyway the relationship can be fixed.

The man replies, “I don’t think so. She makes me pay a service charge whenever I go over my minutes, she’s actively searching out new companies offering her better packages, and every time we brake up she charges me a reconnection fee to get back together.”

Untitled Entry Three

Three MySpacers are trying to get on Heaven’s friends list. God tells them space is limited so each one needs to give a compelling reason they should be them in.

The first scratches her head and says, “I founded the anti Tila Tequila group. And I created animated sims for half the people who are still on my list of friends.

God says, “Oh, you made me into a cartoon. I have had more add requests from teenagers and emos since uploading that pic than ever before. Of course I tell the emos they’re not worthy. Have a Spork full of angel food cake and a sear between John the Baptist and my Son. Don’t pat John on the head though, it makes him jumpy.”

God looks to the second blogger and says, “Well?”

“I confronted hypocrites who used their blog to spread hate and my poetry corner is better than a double-jointed sexed-starved prison-released hooker date.”

“Big fan Ken,” he replies. “Who would deny the man who has the courage to lampoon Rush Limbaugh in cartoon form. He sometimes visits us up here on weekends when he needs to ask his doctor for more pills. By the way, I love the title ‘It’s To Laugh.’ Do you have an agent because my son’s been looking for a new line of work.”

God looks toward the last blogger and says, “Better make this good I already let two people in.”

“I followed your ten commandments and was blogging so often I really didn’t have the time to commit any sin not covered in the original list.” And with that, he quietly walks forward.

“Stop,” says God. “Yeah, that’s all well and good. But I can’t have anyone on Heaven’s friends list that never comments on my page.”

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