The New Shayne-Michael.COMedy

1. Always make sure to break down your purchase into several smaller purchases
2. Make sure to use as many expired coupons as possible.
3. You will earn extra points if one dates back to 1984.
4. Always bring a child you can send to pick up the stuff you forgot once you start getting rung up.
5. When asked, "Paper or plastic," ask the cashier about the merits of both before you decide.
6. Cashiers love small talk, as do the people in back of you.
7. Make sure you argue about the price of your purchase.
8. This is especially true with products that cost 75 cents.
9. What you paid at Vons is relevant when buying at Albertsons, so let the managers know.
10. It's best to get money orders when you're purchasing enough food for a family of eight.
11. If you aren't willing to pay in part with cash, in part with a gift certificate and in part with spare change you're not a real man.
12. If another line opens up, you take priority over the person in front of you.
13. That goes double if the person in front of you is suffering from an advanced form of scoliosis and sitting in a wheel chair.
14. The best time to ask about the things you couldn't find, is when you're in line and ready to pay.
15. When dealing with a cash register, there is no reason not to argue with the math.
16. No, that 9.25 percent sales tax has never been there before; please call the manager and let him know.
17. When it's four for a dollar, you, and only you, don't have to buy four to get the sales price.
18. It's best to use a third party, out-of-state check.
19. Only apply for a club card when your purchase totals $250 or more.
20. Make that purchase before you understand how to work an ATM card.
21. After everything's rung up, say I just remembered, "I need to be somewhere right now," and then cancel the sale.

Posted January 13, 2010 by Shayne Michael under Shopping

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