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How To Get Kicked Out Of Any Community College Class

1. As if the publish or perish rule was the reason the professor did the Hustler spread.
2. When he says, "No," say, "Alright so it was all about the money then."
3. Raise your hand and ask, "What correspondence school did you get that information from?"
4. Inform him that Allah finds his position on evolution offensive; then ask his opinion on extramarital sex.
5. When he gets offended say, "Damn, there goes any chance of raising my grade by raising my flag and asking you to say the Pledge."
6. Then, ask him if he finds your imaginary friend attractive.
7. If he says "No," say "Well, he's imaginary so your commitment to this doesn't really need to be real."
8. Ask him if he played the stupid kid in Stand and Deliver.
9. Then ask him if that person was played by his kid.
10. Raise your hand and complain, "My notes are staring at me."
11. After people start staring at you for acting weird raise your hand and make the same complaint about the class.
12. Using a digital recorder play back the lecture on a two second delay so that it sounds like there's a echo in the room.
13. In the middle of the lecture call America's Most Wanted and say, "I got one." Then give the professor the phone and encourage him to turn himself in.
14. Before he starts his lecture place a Bible before him and ask, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?"
15. No matter how he answers, take the Bible away and whisper, "Liar" as you walk back to your seat. 
16. As you take your notes, feed them directly into a paper shredder you brought with. Say the Department of Defense insists.
17. In your best Billy Idol voice ask the professor, "How are we gonna rock the cradle of education today."
18. Then add, "And I DO NOT want to hear by seducing underage students like you said last week."

Shayne Michael's: Next Show:

Venue | All Shows	Date	Time	Price	State
Eye Candy Cafe [EDIT / DEL]	9/10/2010	8:00PM	FREE	CA
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Posted February 18, 2008 by Shayne Michael under School

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