Shayne-Michael.COM: Today's Humor Column The Fairy Tale

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The Comedy News For 09/06/10

It so happened there lived a young maiden by the name of Sara, mostly because all the more regal names for a princess had been trade-marked by Walt Disney.

Now, Sara was not ugly by today's standards, but she was a real looker by the standards of a society that predated good hygiene.

Her prince was known as Brutus. Although Bruce, as he was known by his friends, would have played a different roll in more socially accepting times.

It so happened that an evil queen had made Sara bite of a poison apple, when that merely gave her a bad case of food poisoning, the evil queen Martha hired some thugs from Yonkers to lock Sara up in a prison tower.

Sara spent months in that prison tower, starving herself to keep her lean trim figure. For Sara knew she would soon be rescued could then go back to a clean system of points and purging.

Her prince charming arrived like spring, except unlike Spring he didn't arrive until Winter and our fair princess had almost lost all eleven toes to frost bite. Caught by the beauty of the lady in the tower, the good prince shouted, "My dear Sara, let down your hair."

Deeply moved, Sara shouted back, "I use Nair go get a rope."

Not long after, the prince returned with a rope. The princess wasted no time putting on her make up while her prince bravely scaled the castle wall to reach her. If she'd have helped, he probably wouldn't have fallen to the ground seven times until he finally tumbled into the unlocked tower door.

Price Brutus climbed the steps to his awaiting lover, all the while thinking what Nair must be doing to his hair follicles.

When he reached the tower door, he knocked politely. Upon entering he saw his love sprawled in front of the mirror in her silk robe.

At that the wicked queen returned and burst into a flaming dragon. The prince slew that foul beast, though the lady didn't encourage the princes death-defying antics, she also didn't object.

It was a short fight, as it was interrupted when the Feds burst in and arrested queen Martha the dragon and carried her away from the tower in cuffs for bailing out of the apple market before the it plunged to zero in the first quarter. Sara was carried down to a waiting chariot, where three fairy princess named Merry, Mona, and Jacqueline awaited to serve her, as well as the prince's fairy God Mother and two of the prince's guardian angels.

The prince built a caste for Sara. He raised her kids, for she already had a few that she had left behind in an old shoe. The rescue was big news so it wasn't hard for her kids to use child services to track her down. But the prince was a great husband, a wonderful provider and he proved an age old moral.

Women always get whatever they want.

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